The topic of co-parenting during or after divorce has been touched upon many times, but what happens if you and your ex-partner are estranged? It can be difficult to co-parent with a partner you are estranged from, but you may feel it’s a necessary step, especially if your child wants to get to know them. It can be possible to be an effective co-parent with an estranged partner, despite the difficulties and challenges ahead. Here are some things to bear in mind.
Co-Parenting With an Estranged Ex
Establish a Custodial Order
One of the most effective methods to get around co-parenting is to set a precedent in a legal sense. If your ex is avoiding calls or just not playing ball, a same day process server can serve legal documents to your ex-partner. This can be challenging, but establishing a legal foundation is an essential starting point. It provides everything in writing and is the place for both parties to understand their obligations and rights.
Setting and Respecting Boundaries
Similarly to co-parenting during or after divorce, boundaries are essential, especially concerning children. The boundaries will help to establish clear guidelines, not just for contact but communication with your children. As part of the custodial order, these must be followed to the letter. Naturally, if an estranged ex comes back after a long time, you must be honest and ensure that your child knows what to expect. You may be very worried about the situation, so guidelines must be established from the outset. You must clarify to your estranged ex that any failure to comply will be met with dire consequences.
Use the Right Resources for You
The most important thing you need to do is have a professional attitude. Some people advise you should treat co-parenting like a business and keep your emotions out of the equation, and this may be very difficult to deal with. Using support systems such as support groups or counselors can help you to stay on track. Because it’s not just about your child, depending on the situation, you may have found yourself incredibly resentful and angry. An outlet for these emotions is essential to remain courteous and respectful.
Put Your Children First
It is tough to look after your children in this setting because they may have many questions, and you will have that instinct to protect them. You may have to separate your feelings from your behaviors at this point, but ensure the lines of communication remain open with your child and encourage openness and honesty. However, it all depends on the situation itself. An estranged ex may come out of the woodwork all of a sudden for their reasons, and as such, legal boundaries can make a massive difference. When your child is determined to rebuild a relationship with their estranged parent, in many ways, you cannot “butt in,” but you must remain respectful of the entire situation.
Jessi is the creative mind behind The Coffee Mom, a popular blog that combines parenting advice, travel tips, and a love for all things Disney. As a trusted Disney influencer and passionate storyteller, Jessi’s authentic insights and relatable content resonate with readers worldwide.