Although every divorce case is different, all divorcees go through the seven stages of divorce recovery to some extent. Get ready to handle every step and connected emotion, and reach your full recovery. Learn more about possible challenges you may have and deal with post-divorce turbulence without hurdles.
Seven Stages of Divorce Recovery
Whether you have been looking for online divorce services for some time or the news has surprised you, shock and disbelief will be your first reaction when the marriage termination finally happens. It may be difficult for you to believe that your lasting and steady relationships have failed with no chance of recovery.
This is when your head is full of questions about ‘why.’ Why is it that your relationships came to a drastic end? Why did your spouse treat you in that way? Why haven’t you spotted any marriage turbulence earlier? You will hardly find any answers since you cannot analyze your relationship’s history yet.
When the initial shock is over, you aim to invest all your sources and effort to save your marriage. You still can’t believe it is all over, so this is not the end of your relationship. At least, this is the only truth for you. Even if all the circumstances point to the impossibility of getting you together again, you will try to reconcile by all means. The fact that you may succeed doesn’t guarantee that your recovered marriage will last long.
When talking about emotions at this stage, you fear losing your partner and staying alone so much that you deny the end of your relationship and try to prolong them as much as possible.
Anger and Blaming
Once you realize your marriage is over with no chance to turn back, you will be angry. You feel angry at the lack of chance to improve your situation, your inability to predict and prevent divorce, and so on.
Anger is often coupled with blaming. You will probably blame your spouse for spoiling your marriage in the past, bringing you to marriage termination in the present, and preventing you from recovering from divorce. Self-blame is a rare occasion at this stage. And may come later together with depression.
When going through the divorce healing stages, you will gradually understand that your marriage is over but will apply all measures to save it. After your initial bright emotions calm down, you may try to come to a compromise with your partner to prolong the life of your relationship.
This way, you subconsciously distract yourself from the feeling of loss. You postpone the fact that you are to be left alone. So you try to buy your spouse’s approval for the next stage of already dead relationships.
The sadness and disappointment will overwhelm you when you realize that divorce is inevitable. You will most likely feel depressed. Like your life is ruined and your loneliness is the only thing you are left with. This is the most dangerous stage you may get stuck in and keep on damaging your life as a result.
The fifth stage is when you need your support group to help you cope with divorce. An active listener or a friend who assists you in dealing with daily issues will allow you to deal with temporary turbulence and move forward to a better life.
Now that you are through all the controversial emotions connected to divorce, you can finally accept that your marriage is over with no chance of reconciliation. This enables you to assess your situation soberly and take appropriate measures. You recognize your new self and new life and settle boundaries to regulate it properly. You take full responsibility for your actions and are finally ready to adjust and improve your life.
This is the stage when you are not only ready for but actively change your life and commit to creating a happy future. You accept your new state fully, let go of your past, and relish your divorce recovery. This is the best moment to reinvent yourself, unravel your potential, and build your life as you’ve never dreamt.
Every divorcee goes through seven similar stages of divorce recovery. The cases and environment are different, so the duration and intensity of every stage will differ, too. But if you put in enough effort, you will deal with post-divorce roller-coasters successfully and move on to your better future with confidence.