5 Things to Do During a Divorce for Healthier Family Dynamics

Getting a divorce can be difficult and messy. As the dynamics between you and your ex-spouse change, the dynamics of your entire family change. If you aren’t careful, they can change for the worse.

Avoid creating a toxic dynamic that can negatively impact your children and follow these tips to practice building a healthier family dynamic during the divorce process.

Opt for Mediation

When approaching a divorce, opt for child custody mediation for healthier family dynamics. It’s better than the traditional divorce process because it encourages cooperation.

Instead of having two different attorneys that represent each party, mediation utilizes a single mediator. It allows you to practice collaboration with a skilled mediator who can help you develop problem-solving skills that you can use long after your divorce is over.

In addition, using a mediator gives you more control, more privacy, and it allows you to focus on what’s best for your children and your family as a whole. It’s the best way to build a strong, positive foundation for moving forward.

Get Into a New Routine

The earlier you work on getting your family into a new routine, the better. That’s especially true for children. Routines can help children cope with transitions, like a divorce. It can also guide positive behavior while giving you the opportunity to get closer to your child during such a contentious time.

Routines are also great for adults! Having a predictable routine can help you sleep better and manage stress more effectively, which are both important during a divorce.

A few tips for getting into a new routine include:

• Create a morning routine that helps the kids get ready for school
• Do the same things before bed each night, like read a book and brush teeth
• Create a ritual that’s meaningful to you, like sipping tea in the morning or taking a bath every evening
• Have a routine in place before dropping your children off with their other parent

Practice Seeing Things From Your Ex-Spouse’s Point of View

One of the most difficult things to do during a divorce is to have empathy for your ex, but it’s an important skill to cultivate if you want to move forward with a positive family dynamic.

Having empathy just means trying to see things from your ex-spouse’s point of view. When you make an attempt to understand why they are behaving the way they are, you’ll be kinder to them, but more importantly, you’ll speak more kindly of them to your children. You’ll be less likely to use your children as a go-between, and you’re more likely to attempt to diffuse arguments before they affect your kids.

Provide Your Children With Support

Going through a divorce is hard for the spouses who are separating, but it can be especially difficult for children. You’ll only make it more difficult by trying to shield them from the divorce. That’s why you should speak openly and honestly in an age-appropriate way about what’s happening to your children. Be willing to answer their questions and spend one-on-one time with each of your children every day.

Providing your children with support might also mean finding a therapist. They can visit with a therapist alone, but you can also consider seeing a family therapist. You can attend sessions with your child, or you could consider family therapy sessions. If your ex is open to coming, it can help you create a united front during your divorce that will make your family stronger after your divorce is over.

Get Support For Yourself

There’s a lot you have to do to protect your children during a divorce. Just don’t make the mistake of caring for everyone else but yourself.

Getting support for yourself is critical. That might mean seeing a therapist, but it could also mean having friends and family you can turn to when things get particularly difficult. Be willing to work through your thoughts, feelings, and worries with your loved ones and you’ll be able to be more present for your family.

Just make sure you don’t turn to your children for support. You need to provide support to them, not the other way around, which is why it’s so important to have friends and family in your corner.

A healthy family dynamic after a divorce is possible. Start laying the foundation during your divorce and you, your kids, and your ex-spouse will relate to each other better for many years to come.