Alright guys, time for a little rant! I know we have all seen them. Posts about why being a SAHM is harder. Then posts saying why being a working mom is harder. As someone who has literally been on every range in the SAHM vs Working Mom spectrum, I am sick of it all. It is time to put an end to these petty “wars” and place more focus on simply supporting our fellow moms.
SAHM Vs Working Mom
So, ladies, I have been a stay at home mom, a working mom out of the home, and now a work from home mom. I think since I have done all of those things, I may have at least some importance in my opinion on the SAHM v Working Mom battle situation. I am just honestly tired of hearing which one is harder. Which one is more work.. Seriously, the answer is NEITHER. Being a mom is hard, no matter what you do. Working outside the home has one set of struggles. Staying home has its own set of struggles. Just because the struggles are different, does not mean that either is less or more difficult. We are all moms, we all want the best for our kids. So can we just stop and think a minute? Put yourself into the shoes of another and really think about it. Instead of doing this though, we tend to make our struggles the most important and only see the positives about the other end of the spectrum. Both have their ups and downs, and we need to learn to respect that. Quit judging and start supporting!
I figured if we are going to highlight this SAHM vs working mom battle, I should equally present both sides. So for the first 18 months of my oldest’s life, I was strictly a stay at home mom. While I loved it, it was by no means easy. Every day was the constant struggle of caring for a child while hoping to maybe get some kind of real adult interaction. My husband worked long hour, so I was home a lone often. During this time I felt like I never got a break. I was with my daughter ALL THE TIME. While I love her, sometimes I felt like I needed a break.
Being a SAHM, I was the one responsible for what felt like everything. Cooking, cleaning, taking care of the baby…. It all fell to me. I was overwhelmed at times, and would want to break down and just cry. Adult interaction was fleeting. Typically, my husband would be the only other adult I would see for weeks on end.
I did love it though. I got to be there with my daughter every step of the way. We also saved quite a bit of money not having to pay for daycare. You see though, being a SAHM isn’t perfect sunshine and rainbows. It comes with its own set of struggles for mom to deal with and overcome.
Moving on to the other side of this SAHM vs working mom spectrum. Working moms have it rough as well, but in a different way. When I was working outside of the home, I would get up extra early. I had to get myself ready, get my daughter ready, and head out the door. She, thankfully, assimilated into daycare very well, but not all kids do, so there is another struggle right there. I would work all day, pick her up and mom all night. While yes, at this point in life my husband was very helpful, I still struggled with balancing everything that needed to be done. It hurt when I would miss something for my daughter because I was working, but I did it.
Working outside of the home felt like a constant battle with the clock. Trying to balance everything and there never being enough hours in the day. While I enjoyed my job as a personal injury paralegal, I still missed my baby girl. The struggle of the working mom is balance, time, missing time with kids. Again, this isn’t easy, but I don’t think being a mom is ever truly easy. I loved my job, made good money, but still, it was not the life for me.
Working From Home
Now, I work from home, and for me it has been the best of two worlds. I get to have income and be home with my tiny heathens. Once again though, working from home as a mom comes with yet another set of struggles. There are times my daughter especially gets upset because I have to work and can’t play all day. She does not yet understand that even though I am home, I still have to work to pay our bills.
I feel like working from home, once again, is a balancing act. Trying to find that perfect schedule. Staying up late and getting up early just to work while the kids sleep. Personally, I wouldn’t trade my work at home mom life for anything, but it isn’t for everyone! Just like being a SAHM or working mom isn’t for everyone either.
Just Be Kind
So in the end, I hope this shows you that being a mom just isn’t easy. We all have our own struggles and just because one is different than yours, does not make it any less important. No matter if you are a married mom, single mom, working mom, stay at home mom, or anything in between, you have my support and respect. We all struggle, and how about instead of competing for who has it harder, we just love and support one another. This whole mom thing will never be easy, but it is the best job in the world. So can we just end this SAHM vs Working mom debate?