Alright ladies, time to get real for a minute. I keep seeing these posts out there on the interwebs talking about fabulous husbands who help out around the house and babysit the kids. They tend to go something like this ” My husband is so great, he does dishes and even babysits anytime I want him to”. Okay, that sounds lovely and all, but honestly, my husband doesn’t help out. Shocking I know, but stay with me for a minute. My husband doesn’t “help out” he just does his part. He doesn’t babysit because he parents. A marriage and being parents are 100/100. With each partner giving 100%. Sometimes our “jobs” are different, but we work together as a team.
Why My Husband Doesn’t Help Out
So I love my husband. I wouldn’t have married him if I didn’t. He is an amazing husband and father and a very hard worker. That isn’t to say he is perfect, far from it actually but he is my perfectly imperfect man.
That being said, my husband doesn’t help out around the house. Yup, you heard me. You see, when I hear so many women gushing about how their husbands help out around the house, I kind of want to gag. It is comical to in a way. So many of these men are getting exorbitant amounts of praise for doing simple tasks.
“My husband did the dishes today, he must be an a saint sent from heaven! ”
“My husband ACTUALLY swept the floor, what an amazing man I have.”
Do you see what I mean? It is a little much if you ask me. I am a firm believer that a relationship should be a team effort. Each party should be giving 100%. There is no “women’s work” or “men’s work”. It is just …work.
So if I feel this way, why would I so happily state that my husband doesn’t help out? Well, that is because he doesn’t. He does his part. He does his share of the dishes, his share of the cleaning, and yes I do appreciate it. That doesn’t mean I am going to scream from the rooftops how amazing he is because he washed a pot. That is just silly. He is an adult and if he wants clean dishes or clean clothes, sometimes he just has to do them himself.
On the same note, it bothers me even more when I hear other moms mention that their husband’s babysit for them. I was under the impression that a babysitter is someone who is NOT the parent of the child that they are watching.
This may just be me, but my husband doesn’t babysit, he parents. If I want to go out with the girls one night, he will stay home with the kids. That is not babysitting. I repeat, THAT IS NOT BABYSITTING. I don’t know why this bothers me so much, but it really does.
Should we be giving excess amounts of praise to our husbands for doing these tasks that they should be doing in the first place? I mean, no one ever made a social media post singing from the rooftops because their wife babysat one night or did a load of laundry.
How is it that we as wives and moms are just expected to do these things, but husbands and fathers get ridiculous amounts of praise for doing the same thing? I mean, my husband and I are both adults, working together to have a clean and functioning household.
So when I say my husband doesn’t “help out”, I don’t mean he sits around all night watching television and eating chips. He does his part. Cleaning, cooking, parenting. He just doesn’t need a crazy amount of praise for simply adulting. I love him, and he does so much and works so hard, as do I. You see, the way this all works out is as a team venture. All are happy and the house is ( sort of) clean.