Every couple will have to go through tough times at some point in their relationship. Every couple with have their fights, it is normal human nature but it is how we handle these situations that can make or break a couple. We have all been there, faced with the decision to walk through the flames or turn back, and I am here to tell you how to make the walk through those flames just a bit easier. Relationships take work. They take two people who are fully committed. Relationships are 100/100 not 50/50.
Lower your voice
Yelling is never the answer, and when one person starts to get loud then the other feels the need to get louder and the situation escalates to a level of anger that should not be there. One of the best things you can do it to lower your voice and try to speak slowly and calmly with your significant other. This can change the entire vibe of the argument and bring it down from roaring anger back to a trickle.
It isn’t always easy to be quiet and listen, especially in the middle of an argument but it is something that can deescalate a situation quickly. No one wants to be interrupted and spoken over, so give your significant other the chance to speak and lay everything out on the table and when he or she is finished then you can do the same. Truly listen to what the other is saying and try to empathize with them and understand why they may be upset.
Don’t Bring up Ancient History
Did your significant other do something to really mess up about a year or more ago? Are you waiting to hold that over their head during an argument so you can hit them where it hurts? If so, don’t. Yes, issues need to be discussed but they do not need to be constantly brought up during an unrelated argument. All this will achieve is escalating the current argument and making all involved parties more upset. So the best advice is to deal with the situation and put it to rest for good.
Communication is Key
If you are angry or upset, or if something is bothering you it is extremely important to openly communicate your feelings. Ignoring them will only lead to resentment and allowing these feelings to build up inside of you until you explode with rage one day. You want to be able to have open lines of communication in order to harvest a healthy relationship.
Never go into an argument wanting to “win”. It isn’t about winning, it is about coming together in order to reach a common ground. Relationships are all about compromise. In order to get through the fight you need to both be able to compromise. Admit your fault and work towards improving your relationship as opposed to focusing on “winning” the argument.
Never Go to Bed Angry
This may be one of the most important lessons I have learned in my marriage. I want to squash the argument before heading off to sleep. If you go to bed with the argument still unresolved you will continue to dwell on your anger and it will build up and you will be even more infuriated when you wake up. Don’t allow the issue to sit, hash it out, talk about it and resolve it. Then go to bed at peace and know that tomorrow is a new day.
These are the little things that I have learned over the years . They truly have helped my husband and me when it comes to arguments within our relationship. I would love to hear any advice that you may have as well!